Water Mosaic echoes from home

pondering the mysteries, simplicity, and humor of life

Friday, March 04, 2005

Ideologies of Marriage

During my mundane commute into Music City, I pondered the idea of the teaching of marriage. Seeing as how my theology has been in flux over the past few years I wonder what these new communities/gatherings will begin to teach and practice concerning marriage. For all my life I have heard the "wife submit to your husband because the husband is the head...." concept, even by my marriage counselor who I admire very much. While the apostle Paul did write that, he also wrote about submitting to one another, as well as the unified distinction (through Christ)between man and woman. Now I'm not a great Bible scholar even though I'm trying to get a Masters in it (ha), I wonder if the ideology of marriage is something that should stay like it is, or should be transitioning.

First, my wife is wonderful. She serves so much in our home. That happens to include your basic "woman" functions like cooking, laundry, cleaning, etc. Now, I enjoy her doing that, very very much, but I feel as though she doesn't have to do those things because she is a woman. She doesn't have to do them because she is my wife, but she desires to do these things for herslef and for me. As for me, I also enjoy serving, whether that's taking our the trash, cleaning dishes, mopping the kitchen, vacuuming, etc. Should a husband/wife relationship be egalitarian or more hierarchical, I guess is what I'm trying to get at? This idea spawned from an episode of Wife Swap. A typical middle class white Christian woman who served her country in war went to live with an anti-war, free flowing, non disciplinary family in Minnesota. During the part where she extended "her" rules over the house, the lady took on all the kitchen, cooking, cleaning duties. When asked why she believed this or lived like this, she immediately referred to the story of Adam and Eve, and how Eve partook of the apple first, demoting her and women through the ages to second in command next to the male.

I began to wonder if our society has taught this so much that most woman see themselves just a little lower than males. I don't have any answers to this thought, but it has made me think of how my wife and I function in our marriage, and what ideologies to handle with care. Any ideas?